The art of...... Writing an exceptional thank you letter

You've been entertained in style. You've eaten delicious food. You met a whole troop of scintillating people and have altogether had a thoroughly cracking time. 

Now for the "Thank You".

But how do we avoid the tired old clichés? How do you really show that you appreciate the time and energy your host and/or hostess has spent in creating a wonderful experience for you?  

A genius once told me that the best way to write a unique thank you letter was to not actually write the words 'thank you' at any point.  I get what he meant, but I like to get it in there somewhere as it really is the simplest, most straight-forward way to express your gratitude, and those are two words that should be used more in this world because they make a difference.

And so, I dare you to challenge yourself and never start a thank you note with those two words but to put them elsewhere in your note or even, if you are brave enough, at the very end to sum up, wholeheartedly all the things you will have mentioned above that you are grateful for.

"What should I write instead then?" I hear you ask.

Experience has taught me that the letters I enjoy reading most are the ones that lead you in with an exclamation and then continue to retell you about all the things you did brilliantly and how clever you are to have pulled off such an amazing event.  Oh yes, massage my ego, I put a lot of time and effort into creating the perfect event, I am fallible, and I love to hear how marvellous I am - so tell me! 

How about beginning with that one thing that stuck out for you and waxing lyrical? "Oh wow! That soufflé!" perhaps or "What heaven to spend an evening in your divine home!" Then, expand on that point's finer qualities. "It was so light and fluffy but packed a punch with that chilli kick." "There is always such a warm welcome and it is divine to sink into the fluffy cushions on your gorgeous blue sofa". Be specific, not general. It shows you really paid attention and the effects have stayed with you in your memory.

And now add another thing you enjoyed, and, if you are lucky to have been spoiled rotten, the next and the next. Saying what you enjoyed about each one, and how clever your host/ess was to have created or provided such delights just for your pleasure.

Once you think your host or hostess has had their ego massaged and plumped up enough, you sneak in a little hint that you, too, are fabulous, scintillating and, well, rather marvellous - after all, that is why they invited you, isn't it?  I like to call this "The Anecdote" bit and it works like this:

Who did you sit next to or talk to? Did you get involved in a particularly interesting topic of discussion? Did you discover an interesting bit of information or gossip (repeatable obviously not a secret someone confided in privacy) that you could mention?  You don't have to expand on it now, but you can say how much you enjoyed the conversation or how fascinating you found a particular point that someone made, or a point of view that differed from your own but that has given you pause for thought. Perhaps there was a really good joke that someone told you all. You don't have to repeat it, but you can say how it's still making you laugh.  What this shows is that you have taken something away from the evening other than just a full belly. It's the mind/body balance that tells your host/ess that they have nourished you from top to toe.

And finally you can now say: "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For the most tremendous evening, it really was simply magnificent and I adored every moment." You see, those two words have such impact when at last they come. And it is those two words that will guarantee you a repeat invitation!